The Engagement Game Read online

  She tugged too, her arms around his waist. Then she was on his lap, naked, wet and slippery. And nothing else existed.

  20

  Carin broke their kiss so she could run her hands over Jake’s chest, exploring the shape of his muscles. Though she’d always admired his chest, she’d been careful not to dwell on how perfect it was.

  She’d half loved, half hated that her best friend was so gorgeous. The fact he was so nice to look at had always been a double-edged sword.

  Now, she was actually touching him. Though she’d promised herself she’d never do that, he felt even better than she could have imagined. This was a line she’d thought she’d never cross. Now the line was disappearing behind her.

  She moved to straddle him, and although the hard base of the bath pressed into her knees so she couldn’t sink onto him, she could feel his hard length against her thigh. As much as she’d pitied the women he dated, a small, secret part of her had envied them too. And now she was finally going to discover what it was like to have a man like Jake beneath her.

  Jake lifted his hand to her face, his touch gentle. He stroked her cheek and his fingertips brushed down her chin. If she were with any other man, that’d be enough to send her scrambling. Her concealer must have washed off by now, which meant she was completely naked. Not just her body, but worse, her face. He must be able to see her scars. And he’d be able to feel her pockmarks under his fingertips.

  But this was Jake. He’d seen her plenty of times before. And right now, he was looking at her like her scars didn’t exist.

  “Carin,” he said, his voice a little throaty. “We have one last chance to stop this, before I lose all control.”

  “Is that what you want? To stop?”

  He gave her a grim smile. “I’m about one hair’s-breadth away from carrying you into the bedroom, throwing you onto the bed, and showing you how crazy you drive me. But once we let this thing out, we can’t put it back in the box. It’ll change things. You sure you’re ready for that?”

  Was she? Did she seriously have a choice?

  Making her mind up, she stood up in one fluid motion and stepped onto the bath mat. Dripping wet and naked, she resisted the urge to reach out and pull her hair out of its messy bun so it would tumble down and hide her scars. No hiding. This was too important.

  “Things have already changed.” She took a deep breath, feeling the weight of her words. Jake was such a vital part of her life, she was all too conscious of the effect this decision could have on her entire future. Though she kept her tone light, in her heart she felt anything but. “I don’t think we can take it back now. So the only way is forward, into uncharted territory.” Her chest was tight with nerves, but she managed to quirk up one side of her mouth as she held out one hand to him. “You were saying something about throwing me on the bed?”

  * * *

  Jake put his hand into Carin’s and surged out of the bath. He caught her around the waist and pulled her against him so he could explore her mouth again. Slowly this time. He meant to take his time with all of it.

  Every cell in his body was on fire. There’d be no more holding back. No more second thoughts. He’d wanted this for too long.

  Her wet, naked body was pliant against his. Her mouth sweet and responsive. He loved the way their tongues teased each other and the taste of her warm breath. More than anything, he loved the way her lithe body melted against his, her perfect breasts pressing against his chest and her nipples demanding attention.

  But perfect breasts called for the proper stage on which to attend them. “Bed,” he agreed, fumbling for one of the large, fluffy towels by the door.

  “What if the therapist’s waiting out there?” whispered Carin.

  “Then I’ll get rid of her.” He wrapped Carin in the towel before unlocking and opening the door. The bure’s living room was empty, but he strode to the front door to lock it, just in case. He wouldn’t allow any interruptions now.

  When he turned, Carin had moved into the bedroom and was standing by the bed, still wrapped in the fluffy towel. “You’re dripping.” She gave him an inviting smile. “Want to share my towel?”

  Crossing to her, he unwrapped her like a gift. Naked, she was more beautiful than he could have believed. But her breaths were coming fast.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  She caught his hand and placed it over her heart. “Feel how quickly it’s beating?”

  “Anxious?” He drew back, thinking of her panic attacks.

  But she shook her head with an impatient noise. “Stop talking and kiss me.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  He tasted her sweet mouth again, running his hands over her shoulder blades and letting them linger on the curve of her lower back. He’d been imagining this moment for so many years, he could hardly believe it was really happening. He ached to touch every part of her. To claim and enjoy every inch of her.

  Easing her onto the bed, he kissed the sprinkling of chocolate freckles across her nose, then moved his mouth down to her chin and throat. Her hands were exploring him in turn, stroking over his arms and chest.

  Hendrix had said something about the meaningless sex buffet being unsatisfying? He’d been right, because finally having Carin in his arms was so much better than in his fantasies. Carin’s body, forbidden for so long, longed for and lusted after, was laid out before him at last, her skin fragrant with the lingering scent of the bubble bath.

  How many times had he’d dreamed of pleasuring Carin? How often had he imagined hearing her gasp and making her cry his name? Now he was finally going to get his chance.

  He kissed his way down her throat to her breasts, and teased her nipples with his tongue, loving the way they responded to his mouth. Would every part of her body respond so well? He couldn’t wait to find out…

  “Jake. Wait,” she gasped.

  Not quite the reaction he was after. He lifted his head.

  “An important question just occurred to me.” She sounded breathless. “Do you have a condom?”

  “A whole box in my suitcase.”

  “A box?”

  “I packed in a hurry, and it was right there, so…” He’d thrown the box in thoughtlessly, out of habit, and then when he’d realized there’d be no need for condoms, almost fished it out again. Good thing he hadn’t.

  She didn’t move, didn’t lift her head, but a wide smile broke over her face. “The therapist said our suitcases were in the wardrobe.”

  He got up and looked for the bag. She watched him with a gaze he could only describe as hungry. The eagerness in her face made him even more aroused, if that were possible. So aroused that he fumbled impatiently with the bag’s zip, feeling like it was fighting him when he tried to open it. Every second he wasn’t touching her was a second wasted.

  “I can’t believe how badly I want you.” Her expression was serious. “I swore I’d never let myself think of you like this.”

  He was careful not to react to her words. If she only knew the starring role she’d had in his dreams over the years, she’d be shocked. Not that he was about to tell her. Instead he turned to her with the box in his hand. She was naked on the bed, and the sight of her laid out for him made his breath catch in his throat. She was his dream made real. All he could do was stand still and gaze at her as his blood ran hot and his heart pounded hard.

  He wanted to tell her how beautiful she was, but the words died in his throat. All these years he’d vowed to himself that he’d never be so selfish as to make love to her because he knew he’d only hurt her again.

  Now he was breaking that vow. He was risking the only thing that mattered.

  She must have seen something in his face, because her expression changed. She chewed her lower lip. “Jake? Are you okay? I have to admit, I’m a little nervous.”

  “We don’t have to keep going.” He forced himself to stay where he was, his body rigid. “If you’re having second thoughts—”

  He was cut off by a knock
on the door. “Carin, Jake, are you still in there?” It was the therapist’s voice from outside. “Time’s up, I’m afraid. The director needs you on the beach, pronto.”

  21

  By the time they got back to the campsite on the beach, dusk was falling. While Jake lit a fire, Carin waded into the shallow water to see if she could catch another fish. If she kept busy, that would keep second thoughts at bay. They’d been hustled back to the beach so quickly, they hadn’t had any more time to talk. Jake’s expression was closed off again. She had no idea what he was thinking.

  The smell of cooking fish already wafted from the other couple’s campfires. They had less than an hour before it got dark.

  “Any luck?” asked Jake, wading in next to her. The fire he’d built was burning brightly next to their shelter.

  “Not yet. We might end up eating plain rice for dinner. We have some left, don’t we?” She glanced sideways at him, sensing that he was itching to have a turn fishing. He was a man after all, and like most men, he hated standing on the sidelines watching someone else do a job. Still, he didn’t say a word, just thrust his hands into his pockets and gazed out to sea.

  Were things going to be awkward between them now? Did he regret what they’d started? Cameramen were filming them from the beach, and they’d had to put those awful microphones back on, but she wanted to talk to him about it anyway. Or try to. She hated not knowing where she stood with him.

  The line jerked in her hands. “Wait,” she breathed. “We might be in luck.” Sure enough, she pulled in a fish.

  “Well done,” said Jake, grabbing it out of the water. “It’s a nice size. Perfect for dinner.”

  She let out her breath. At least he was acting normally, paying her compliments like he so often did. She loved that about him, the way he made her feel like she could do anything. If what they’d almost done together had ruined things between them, how would she ever get by without him? Jake was so ingrained in her life, the thought of him not being there made her palms go sweaty.

  They waded back onto the beach, and as she watched him gut and clean the fish, she got more and more nervous. What if he decided he didn’t want her and she fell apart? Oh God, what if she had a panic attack on camera?

  No, that wasn’t going to happen. She was fine. All she had to do was keep calm and grab the first chance they got to talk things through with him.

  But it wasn’t until after they’d eaten dinner and were sitting around the campfire that the crew finally packed up their cameras and disappeared into the darkness.

  Carin tugged the microphone out of her clothing, and Jake followed her lead.

  “You want to talk?” he asked.

  “I’m freaking myself out.”

  “Tell me,” he said simply.

  “I can’t lose you, Jake. I just can’t.” She dragged in a breath. “And I don’t even know what this is. I have no idea whether you want something for keeps, or if I’ll be just one of the hundreds of women you’ve slept with.” In the darkness, with just the firelight flickering, it was hard to read his expression.

  “Not hundreds,” he said, his tone neutral. “But a lot, I suppose. Does that bother you?”

  “No.” She hesitated. They’d never lied to each other and now would be a bad time to start. “Yes, it bothers me. Because what makes me different from any of them?”

  “You’re different. You know you are.”

  “Why? How do I know?” She studied him, trying to tell what he was thinking. “When things get difficult, you shut down, show no emotion. And when I don’t know how you feel, I get nervous.” She held out both hands. “Look at me, I’m shaking.”

  Jake put his arm around her and pulled her close. “Take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay.”

  She followed his advice and pulled air into her lungs, but the arm around her shoulder did more to steady her. “Tell me this isn’t a mistake,” she said softly.

  “I’m not going to hurt you, Carin. We can go back to the way things were. All we have to do is decide to be friends again.”

  “You really think we could do that?”

  “Yes.”

  The assurance in his tone cut through the tight chain that had been wrapping itself around her heart. Could it be that simple?

  “Okay, I haven’t really changed my mind,” she said. “I just got speed wobbles. But we should give being together a try and dial it back if it gets too much.”

  “Do you trust me?” His tone was low, matching hers. He gazed into her eyes, the firelight reflecting in his irises. When his expression wasn’t closed off, she could see the tenderness in him and it filled her heart.

  “I trust you.” When he looked at her like she was precious to him, she was ready to do anything, follow him anywhere. She knew him so well, had seen him at work and at play. Stern, business-like, enthusiastic, creative, funny, relaxed: she’d have sworn she knew all sides of him. But this expression was the best by far.

  “Then don’t overthink this. We’re friends first, okay? That’s not going to change.”

  “Okay,” she said. And after taking a breath, she said it again, more certainty in her voice. “Okay.”

  “Good.” He kissed her softly. Then he got up. “I’m going to take the knife and flashlight to cut some branches before we go to bed.”

  “More firewood?”

  “It’ll be too green for that. But I think our house needs more walls to stop cameras from intruding during the night.”

  If he was willing to work in the dark to protect their privacy, he must have plans for activity he didn’t want filmed. The knowledge made her stomach flutter and warmth spread through her limbs.

  “Good idea.” She jumped up and followed him into the trees to help haul branches. But she should have known Jake wouldn’t do anything by halves. By the time he was done and they stepped back from their handiwork to admire it, the moon was high and the other couples were no doubt fast asleep. The camera crew had come back not long after they’d started the job, drawn by their burst of activity. Jake had obviously been irritated by them, but the spotlights they’d set up for filming had been a big help. And at least they’d stayed out of the way, and hadn’t asked Jake and Carin to repeat any of their hard work so they could get a better shot.

  Now a cameraman was walking around their campsite, filming their new-and-improved shelter. The original lean-to was still there, but they’d added two short sides and another wall to enclose it. Covering the new walls with leaves would have taken forever, so they’d hung their spare clothes over them instead. At least now the structure was more private. The new walls had no roof, so it was more like a courtyard outside their lean-to than a house. But the fireplace was inside the new walls, which meant they’d have light and the smoke would keep the insects away.

  Carin had managed to scratch up her hands on a sharp branch and had earned some impressive blisters. But gazing at their palace of a beach-shelter, she was flushed with the satisfaction of a job well done.

  “Not bad,” she said, hearing the pride in her voice. “Might not win you any architecture awards, but I think we’ve done okay.”

  “How are your hands?” He took them gently and turned them over to see her palms. Under the bright lights the camera crew had set up, the scratches were obvious. He made a noise in the back of his throat, then dragged up one of the big logs they’d been using to sit on, positioning it under the light. “Sit down so I can clean them.”

  Jake got the bottle of water and a T-shirt to use as a cloth, then sat beside her to wash and dry her cuts. “Tomorrow I’ll enlarge our courtyard so we can sit in there, by the fire,” he promised.

  “What, no walk-in wardrobe?”

  His lips quirked. “Give me a couple more days and you’ll have it.”

  “I don’t doubt it.” In the boardroom with his brother, Jake had looked like he was carrying the entire company on his shoulders. But building the shelter, they’d spent as much time laughing as lashing sticks toget
her. He’d been boyish and playful. And she had a feeling that if Hendrix had been able to see his brother here, he wouldn’t have believed the change in him.

  “Pity you don’t get to do this at home,” she said. “You think you’ll ever get to finish your architecture degree?”

  “No time for that.” His tone betrayed his regret. Jake must have had mixed emotions when he’d watched Hendrix graduate with the degree he’d wanted. Especially as it was only thanks to Jake shouldering responsibility for the company that had allowed Hendrix to keep studying.

  Both sons had never shown any doubt that they wanted to do the same job as their charismatic father. In many ways, Jake was a lot like his dad. He’d inherited the man’s good looks and charm.

  He finished cleaning her hands, then raised her palms to his lips and kissed them, his stubble rough against her skin. “No more building work for you,” he told her.

  “That’s a shame,” she said. “It was fun.”

  Jake looked up at the crew who had their cameras and microphone booms thrust toward them. He frowned. “Show’s over.” Although he didn’t raise his voice, it was filled with calm authority. “We’re turning in for the night so I need you to pack up those lights now.”

  The crew muttered to each other, then the bright lights winked off. After they’d packed up and were headed away, Jake drew Carin to her feet and led her inside their new shelter. Inside the tiny courtyard, it felt cozy and private. The flickering firelight played over the clothing they’d hung around the walls. It lit up the lean-to, with its fresh bed of leaves. Her sarong was spread over the top, and it looked both inviting and romantic.