No Laughing Matter: Lennox Brothers Romantic Comedy Read online

  When I came back down to earth, I’d probably think of all the reasons our impulsive kiss had been a bad idea. But working undercover had meant living in a state of constant anxiety, and being able to let go enough to enjoy small victories helped keep me sane. So while the memory of kissing Carlotta was fresh, I intended to bask in it.

  The surveillance team was gathered in a meeting room at the local station. There were five local detectives involved, including Luke, an old friend. I nodded to him as I joined them. The lead detective had some photos on the table in front of him, and gave me a quick recap of what I’d missed.

  “I was just saying that Four-Finger-Frankie’s been confirmed as Santino’s supplier. And we’re now certain Santino’s transporting the drugs through his business.” The detective tapped a large photograph of Santino’s importing office. “He uses his legitimate business to hide his dirty deeds.”

  He added a photograph of a woman in her mid-to-late twenties with her short black hair gelled into spikes. “This is Faith Lea. She seems to be his main courier, but he has several other people working for him and we’re still confirming their level of knowledge and involvement.” The detective put down four photos of men, and one of another young woman. “He likes to recruit mostly clean-cut, middle class types with no priors. They probably don’t know what they’re getting into, at least at first. He either uses them without their knowledge, or brings them into his business with promises of easy money.”

  “Is that one being duped?” Luke pointed at the photo of Faith.

  “This one? She’s in it up to her eyebrow piercings.”

  The team talked strategy for another half hour, and the meeting had barely wrapped up when my phone rang. My chief in Houston was calling.

  “How’s California?” he asked when I answered. “You bored yet?”

  I went into an empty interview room and shut the door for privacy. “We’re getting close to making arrests in the surveillance operation,” I told him.

  Griffin grunted, and I could picture him on the other end of the phone, most likely in his office even though it was Sunday. He was in his fifties, grizzled and tough. Ambitious. He pushed all his agents hard. “I never wanted you to get involved in that op,” he growled. “Santino and Frankie are nobodies. Leave them to the locals, and get your ass back to Houston.”

  My throat tightened. I held the entire Medea Cartel responsible for Mom’s death, but Frankie was the one I blamed most. “What’s your hurry?” I kept my tone casual so Griffin wouldn’t guess how invested I was in the operation. “Now the cartel’s fragmented, it’s all about mopping up the smaller players.”

  “Another cartel’s already expanding into Medea territory. The fun thing about our job is there’ll always be more bad guys, and I need you here to get friendly with them.”

  “But a new cartel won’t know me like the Medea guys. I’d have to prove myself all over again.”

  “They know your reputation.”

  “I thought you wanted me to take a break for a few weeks?”

  “Change of plan. Diamond’s moving in.”

  I sat down heavily on one of the interview room’s hard chairs. “Diamond? Into Medea territory?”

  “That’s what they’re saying.”

  “Shit.” If the Medea dealers had been animals, Diamond was the meanest, most ruthless predator of all. His reputation for cruelty and savagery made even the most hardened Medea death merchants flinch.

  “Lennox, we need to take down Diamond. I know the asshole’s dangerous. Even his most trusted lieutenants die young. But you’re the only agent who has a chance of getting what we need.”

  “Another six years?” The thought made me feel like I’d swallowed a block of ice. “There’s no way I’d live that long.”

  “Not six years. We have a single focus, just him and his inner circle. This time we won’t spread such a wide net.”

  “How long?”

  “A year. No longer. Not unless it gets messy.”

  “That’s still a long time to be around Diamond.”

  “This is what we live for, Lennox.”

  “Or what I’ll die for.”

  “At least you’ll die pretty.”

  “Don’t you get a fat salary, Griffin? Use it to buy yourself a pair of glasses.”

  He chuckled, and it was a rough sound, rusty with lack of use. “I miss your pretty face, so you’d better drop the surveillance and get back to Houston. We need you on the ground right away.”

  I dragged a hand through my hair, shaking my head even though he couldn’t see me. “There’s a good team here, and they’ll have the arrest wrapped up in a few days. I’m sticking around to make sure my family don’t get dragged into it. My brother lives next door to the target, remember?”

  “Then I’ll send another agent to replace you.” Griffin sounded impatient. “You need to take a big step back from the investigation, you hear me? We can’t risk anyone connected to the cartel asking questions about you.” His tone softened. “I know going back in with Diamond is a lot to ask, Lennox. But I can count on you, can’t I?”

  “I’ll think about it.”

  I hung up and sat still for another minute or two, wishing I hadn’t picked up the damn call. I’d have to do what the chief asked. But the thought of spending a year with Diamond and his pack of thugs made me sick to my stomach. Medea had been bad enough. Diamond was a whole new level of viciousness.

  There was no way I’d make it through untouched. It would change me, and not for the better.

  Cursing, I went out of the interview room and found Luke in the break room pouring coffee. He had his phone crammed between his shoulder and his ear, and I figured he was talking to his new girlfriend, Willow, because he was telling the person on the other end that he loved them, too. I waited until he’d hung up and picked up his coffee before I spoke.

  “Hey Luke, I have to step back from the team.”

  He turned to face me so fast, he slopped coffee over his hand. Cursing, he shook it, then licked off the last of the liquid. “You’re stepping back, Mason? Never thought I’d hear you say that.”

  “Never thought I’d be forced to say it, but they’re sending another agent to replace me.”

  “We’ll miss having you on the team.”

  “Me too. But I know I can trust you guys to take down Frankie and Santino.”

  “Don’t worry, we’ll put them away.”

  Once I was back at Asher’s house, I settled on a stool at the kitchen island with my laptop. The information on Carlotta I’d requested from the police database was waiting for me.

  As expected, Carlotta didn’t have a record. But she’d filed more than one police report in the last few days. As well as having paint thrown at her, Carlotta Minerva Watson had been the recipient of several online death threats.

  I blew out a breath, staring at the reports. The details were brief, and nothing had yet been done. The complaints were low priority and still hadn’t been assigned to a duty officer.

  The few details included that the threats had all come from one online account, and had been repeated and explicit. The account name was FowlFetish.

  When I searched online for the account, I found myself scrolling through a wall of outrage. FowlFetish was nasty to a lot of people, but he was particularly vitriolic about Carlotta. His profile picture was a duck with a gun and a bloody beak standing on top of a dead hunter.

  His account was set for maximum security, which would make it difficult to trace. But I called a friend in the computer forensics department. Todd and I had worked together years ago, and he owed me one. His social skills were a blunt weapon, but in the digital world he had a genius-level IQ.

  “It’s Sunday,” he said when I gave him the details of the account I wanted him to check out. “I don’t work Sundays.”

  “Would you check it out for me when you are working?”

  “What’s the case number?”

  “No case number.”

&
nbsp; Todd blew out his breath. “Mason—”

  “I need a favor off the record. It’s for an old friend in San Dante. Some asshole turned up to her house and assaulted her, and it could have been the person behind the FowlFetish account. He’s been sending her death threats since her account was hacked.”

  “How’d he know where your friend lived?”

  “She used a San Dante hashtag. It’s not a big place, and she’s staying at her mother’s place. They have the same last name.”

  Todd groaned.

  “Can you find out who FowlFetish is?” I asked.

  “Maybe. I’ll take a look when I get some time, but if this comes back on me—”

  “It won’t. I take full responsibility.”

  I gave him all the details I knew, and I’d just hung up when Asher came in carrying a food carton.

  “You want donuts?” he asked.

  The suggestion made my stomach growl. “Sure do. I’m starving.” The muffin I’d had at Natalie’s café wasn’t nearly enough.

  Asher frowned, examining my face. “Has something bad happened?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  His eyes were like bullets. “What’s wrong? Something related to the surveillance? Santino’s discovered he’s being watched?”

  “The surveillance is going fine. They’re getting closer to an arrest.”

  Asher’s frown deepened. “Come and eat on the back deck. We need to catch up.” He took the box of donuts outside.

  I hadn’t even been thinking about Diamond when Asher came in, but his weird sixth sense had struck again. My worry over going back undercover was probably what he’d seen in my face.

  When I went out to the back deck, Asher was sitting at the table, selecting a donut from the box. I took the chair next to him, confident Santino wouldn’t be able to see us. Asher’s house was built higher than Santino’s and we were shielded behind a small privacy wall that still allowed us a great view both of Santino’s place, and San Dante beach. For the hundredth time I wondered how my little brother had managed to borrow enough money to buy a beachfront house. But I knew from experience there was no point in asking questions. Asher was too tight-lipped. Besides, I just wanted to enjoy a view I wouldn’t get to see again for at least a year.

  Choosing one of the donuts from the box, I bit into it with relish.

  “Did you question Carlotta about the party?” asked Asher.

  I nodded, swallowing a mouthful of donut. “We had coffee at Nat’s café. She and Natalie are both in the clear. Officially off the suspect list.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “She agreed to have coffee with you?”

  “I had to promise I’d fix her mother’s porch.” I licked donut glaze off my lips. “Actually, I told her a couple of your builders would fix her mother’s porch.” I gave him a mock salute with my half-eaten donut. “And on behalf of the Drug Enforcement Administration, thank you for your generous assistance with my investigation.”

  “You’re doing a favor for Trixie Watson? Does that mean you’ve forgiven her?”

  “Whatever happened between Trixie and Dad was a long time ago. Ancient history. And it’s time we all stopped holding a grudge.” Saying the words aloud felt surprisingly freeing. All the years I’d been mad with Trixie, all I’d done was hurt Carlotta. Besides, in the face of my imminent return to Houston, staying angry about an affair that happened years ago seemed ridiculous.

  “But after everything Mom said about Trixie—” Asher started.

  “Mom had a lot of poison to spread. You trust her judgment?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Then it’s time to end the feud between our families. And what better way than fixing Trixie’s death trap of a porch?”

  Asher let out a small sigh. “I agree we should end the feud. But do you need to use my builders to do it? They’re already behind schedule.”

  “You’re not financially stretched are you? Are you waiting for me to leave before you tear down this house, or sell it, or whatever? I’ll only be here a few more days.”

  “You’re going back to Houston?”

  I nodded. “As soon as we arrest Frankie and Santino.”

  “I’m planning to tear down this house,” Asher said, his gaze lingering on a shapely young woman doing yoga on the beach. “But not yet.”

  “Do you owe a lot of money for it?”

  “The money I owe is just numbers on a piece of paper. It’s not real until somebody wants me to give it back.”

  “Then let’s hope they don’t come asking for it.”

  He nodded, shooting me a look that was all too serious. “Let’s hope.”

  I studied my brother while I finished my donut. Asher was the smartest person I knew, but nobody was infallible. Problem was, if he got himself into trouble over his financial deals, I had no idea how I’d help him.

  “What’s the next step in the investigation?” asked Asher.

  “Somebody threw red paint over Carlotta. I have a friend helping me look into it.”

  He put down the donut he was eating, and wiped powered sugar off his fingers with a napkin. “I’m sorry that happened to her, but I was asking about the drug dealers next door. Arrests are likely in the next few days?”

  “It seems that way.”

  “It seems that way?” Asher’s eyes narrowed and he scrunched the napkin into a ball. “Has Carlotta reported her assault to the local police?”

  “She did.”

  “Then you should let them deal with it so you can concentrate on doing your job.”

  “The surveillance operation isn’t my job anymore. I’ve had to step back.”

  “So you’ve stopped caring about arresting Santino and Frankie?” He sounded annoyed, which wasn’t like him.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  He let out a breath as he threw the balled up napkin onto the table. It wasn’t until I saw his muscles loosen that I realized he must have been tense.

  “Yes,” he said. “Sorry. Bad day, that’s all.”

  “Another bad day? Problems at the building site?”

  “Nothing I can’t handle.”

  “You want to talk about it?”

  “Do you want to talk about Carlotta?”

  “What about her?”

  Asher leaned forward. “Why does your expression change every time you hear her name?”

  “What? That’s ridiculous.” I tried to think about anything except kissing her, knowing Asher would see it all over my face.

  “You two used to get on pretty well, as I recall. Seems you still do.”

  “Why wouldn’t we? She’s fun to be around. What’s not to like?”

  “So your casual questioning of her over coffee turned into a real date?”

  I shrugged, unable to hold back a small smile. “Turns out we still have a connection.” Then I thought of my call with Griffin and my smile disappeared. “But I’m leaving soon. Besides, she keeps asking about what happened when we left, and I can’t keep refusing to tell her.”

  I bit into another donut, and red jelly oozed from the inside. It was the color of the shirt Mom had been wearing the day our lives changed forever.

  That day I’d been a little late home from school. When I arrived, Mom was in the driveway, standing next to the car. She’d clearly been crying for a long time, because her eyes were bloodshot and narrow, as though her tears had shrunk them into slits.

  As soon as I saw her, my heart sank. I dropped my school bag to look for Kade and Asher, who usually arrived home before me. I was relieved not to see them, though I wished Dad was around to help calm Mom down.

  “Get in the car,” Mom snapped at me, grabbing my arm and digging her fingers into my flesh.

  “No.” I tried to yank free from her grip. “I have to go. I’m meeting Carlotta.”

  “You’re not meeting your slut girlfriend.” Her voice rose to a scream. “Get in the car.”

  “Don’t talk about Carlotta like that.” />
  She brought her face close to mine. “Get in the car.” Spittle hit my face. Her voice was a dangerous hiss, and she looked more furious than I’d ever seen her.

  When she dragged me to the car, I realized with a shock that my brothers were already in the back seat. Asher’s angular face was set with anxious dread. Kade was uselessly yanking the door handle, trying to escape, although Mom had locked them in.

  Mom wrenched open the passenger door and tried to shove me into the car. When I resisted, she hurled herself into the driver’s seat and the engine roared into life. I tried to open the locked back door, yelling at my brothers to get out. Asher lunged forward, scrambling through the gap in the seats to escape through the front passenger door, but the car lurched forward and threw him back against Kade.

  Mom was going to kill them.

  Cursing, I jumped into the passenger seat. I barely managed to shut the door before Mom took off, tires screeching.

  She took the first corner too fast, and I grabbed the door handle, hanging on for dear life as I craned my neck around to check on my brothers. “Put your seat belt on,” I ordered Kade, seeing that Asher was already fastening his. I was only two years older than the twins, but for once Kade listened to me and yanked it around him.

  “Let us out, Mom,” he begged. “Please.”

  “Mom, stop.” I tried to sound calm. “You’re too upset to drive right now. Take us home and let’s talk about whatever’s wrong.”

  “You want to know what that bastard’s been doing?” Mom snarled, squealing around another corner. “He’s been banging your girlfriend’s mother.”

  It took me a moment to work out what she was saying, and when I did my heart compressed painfully small. “What?” I asked dumbly.

  “Your father and the slut next door have been fucking behind my back. Ed couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. And that bitch, Trixie Watson, couldn’t wait to wrap her legs around him.”

  My stomach was in knots. I felt like I was going to be sick. But I looked back at my brothers, their pale faces rigid with shock, and forced myself to stay calm for their sake. “Don’t talk about Dad like that.”

  “You knew what was going on!” She turned a furious glare on me, the car swerving as her attention left the road. “Your bitch girlfriend already told you. She and her mother have been scheming and laughing.”